So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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