Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
