Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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