Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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