I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
