I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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