if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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