Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
