my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
