Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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