Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
