Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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