saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I believe in your delicious
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
