mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize