I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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