this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sarcasm needs its own font
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
