you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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