it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
