i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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