I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize