This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I bet he comes in French.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
