Can Purell be used as lube?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
