i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize