I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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