I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
