You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
