Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
