Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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