i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
