Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
