I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
