Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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