Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize