If that was your dad, he is hot
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
