how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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