I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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