The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
