It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize
