You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize