he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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