I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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