mondays should just be called national damage control day
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
