Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
