Just fell off a train. Bad.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
