6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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