4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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