I'm drive I can fine osifer
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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