drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Semen is not good for contacts.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
