After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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