What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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