one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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