idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
