I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
