Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
