You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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