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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking in an igloo changes everything.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.

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• (619): View more from California

  He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."

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• (315): View more from New York

  She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...

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