Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
