you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
