left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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