woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
