guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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