Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
