Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
