Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
