How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
