He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
