Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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