they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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