You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
