she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize