My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
