I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
