I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
