Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
In America we eat man semen.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
